Why Wasn't Technology Invented When I Was Little?

Where does this girl get her anger from! Her heavy eyeliner? And who is it geared towards? Hopefully not me! Lil Show Stopper is a stark contrast to girl that lipsynchs to what I am guessing is her NOW 29 cd before bed every night. This girl has "it". Her literal interpretive dancing and lighting effects are off the charts. She's got the grace of a ballerina and the music video director know how of Spike Jonze. I only wish there were more! What's that? She has a video for almost every popular song on the radio today? This will never get old!

Ok eff, copying and pasting the link won't work so I am going to have to ask you to go to YouTube and type in "Nobodys Perfect" and click on the video with the girl in the lime green room. SORRY. Do it!

I apologize for not embedding the video. How archaic of me. Apparently her videos are not allowed to be embedded or linked. Probably some loophole in her recording contract. It's worth it though, seriously. GO AUBURN!

Old Timer Quote of the Day

Three days in a row, this is some kind of record for me! Last night and today was a rare occasion, as it was the first time I have gone to bed before 9 since I was like 5. I woke up at 7:00 this morning to the sweet sound of Sean declaring that he was not "sweepy anymore". I went for a run and towards the end, I passed by the VFW where an old man was walking to his old car. Old people are so funny. I wish I was one. They don't give a hoot what they say to anyone because they're simply too old to care. I stopped at the sidewalk before crossing the busy street and he yelled out, "Run an extra mile for meeeeee!" Done and done my octogenarian friend, and I mean done.

My Name is Mary, M-A-R-Y

While the above clip is HILARIOUS and sad, it sheds light on a brand new addiction that I have picked up: Intervention on YouTube. It's the tops! Not only am I led to other Interventions through the Intervention clips that I am watching, but I can also skip ahead to the "what went wrong" part and the ending! Forget everything in between I want immediate sobering results! I recommend watching the above episode in its entirety (on YouTube) if you are ever feeling like going on a bender. It will make you stray far away from putting harmful chemicals into your body...it worked for me! Forget MADE and True Life- I have graduated to a much more hardcore life of watching meth addicted alcoholics! Goodmorning!

As of yet, my insatiable need for YouTube Intervention has led me to one question: Do I need an Intervention for watching too much Intervention? If I come home one day and Candy Finnigan is in my room along with all of my loved ones, I am going to be very upset. You are all "JELIS H8RS" (Michael K, Dlisted 2008) is what I would say. Does blogging demand APA format?



Whooozegottafoneikenyoooze? I'd like to introduce you to Cristy, whose resume includes a 10 year meth addiction. The naked fight interaction bears a striking resemblence to how I start my morning when my mom wakes me up, much like a feral cat. My favorite part is when she turns the music on! It sounds like a some kind of primitive, infant beat boxing housed in a karaoke machine. Get it! Later on, she requests for "music up in this mother" AT HER INTERVENTION! Get this girl a recording contract!



Sorry. One more! Skip to minute 1:41...you won't be disappointed. Another question came up while watching the same endings of Intervention, should the addict choose to go to rehab: what are the people's reaction on the plane when they see the Allisons, Cristys, and Jills with a camera crew following them? "I can't read my People magazine with this writhing drug addict next to me!" "I've lost my appetite."

Editors Note: I know that drug addiction is not funny and is a scary thing, but it's not happening to me or anyone I love!

EMBED EMBED!

Thanks to my bro for teaching me how to embed a youtube video onto the blog..let's see if this works...beep boop bop boop beep



HELLS YES! "I did it!" as Megan Healy would say! Above is a clip from America's sweetheart, Lindsey Lohan, calling our president elect, "colored"...there's no skirting her choice of words either because there is nothing else she could've said! wtf! Is this the 1940's! Get ready for a publicist written apology! Does it make you cringe as much I do when I watch it?

I know the issue of my non-posts have been the white elephant in the room and I apologize for being a neglect-arino, but now that I know how to embed videos, I'll never stop! Broken promises. Angala has threatened to start a blog of her own on how people don't blog everyday...where's the blog Ang? I think right now Gaz wins blogger of the month for October and November because he has an almost daily post. Becky, i'm sick of looking at the same picture of your damn weiner kids for 5 days in a row! Remember, your blog is my home page. I may have to switch it to www.onehundredpercentslowtwitch.blogspot.com...shout out!

Now to embed more videos!

I am so smart, S-M-R-T

I caught Hilton without his face on one morning last year


Hooray for me! Today is a good day everyone, for I recently discovered that I only got 2 answers wrong on my research midterm! Boo yahhh! I got to school at 8 a.m. this morning to do some finishing touch studying and I guess it paid off. After turning in the test, we got to leave for a bit and walk around, make phone calls, etc. I came back later than everyone else to discover that they were already grading the exam! Normally, this would be a stressful situation but, from my results, I was cool as a cucumber. This weekend is homecoming at IU and I am sure it will not disappoint.

I've constructed a checklist of things I know will happen this weekend:
1. Leave my house at 8 a.m. and arrive in Bloomington around noon
2. See all of my friends that I have not seen in 2 months or longer
3. go to dot dot dot concert not once but twice(they are playing Friday and Saturday)
4. tailgate on saturday and hopefully get into college mischief with my fellow alums and currently enrolled students
5. fall into a deep slumber after tailgating only to be awakened by a stabbing pang of hunger
6. wake Hilton up when he does not want to be woken up
7. wait in a line at every bar and possibly not get in to any bar b/c the campus will be so crowded
8. be mad that I have to leave on Sunday

I hope I can check everything off my list and maybe add some more!

College Antics Stock Photo #1, #2, and #3

I found that little gem on my face in the attic of Kappa Delta. It wasn't living up to its potential so I decided to breathe new life into it even though after I took it off my face I felt like I acquired a flesh-eating virus. They have got to miss me at Kappa Delta. I willed the mask to Dana and she better be making good use of it!

Friday is here! YES! Not only is it Chris's day of birth, but tonight I am going to see BEN FOLDS! YAYY! I have been diligently reading and coloring in my anatomy coloring workbook and trying my best not to get distracted all day. I'm giving myself until 3 o'clock to work and then I am going to shower and get ready to head off to the city!

The first time I saw Mr. Folds was in high school at the DePaul campus downtown for $5! He was just getting popular at the time and there were only about 500 people in the audience, maybe less. The second time he came to IU and tried to make the audience poo their pants by turning the bass up to a certain level. I don't think it actually worked, although I doubt anyone would admit to going number two in their pants if it did happen. My third BF concert was at Ravinia, a very "chill" venue where we sat in the grass and listened to him bang on his piano...not in a sexy way of course. He musically banged. I am excited for my fourth concert tonight and I know he won't disappoint! There was one concert of his in college that I missed because I was playing volleyball. My roomate went and knew that I was very upset, so after the show she actually got to meet Ben Folds and she convinced him to call me on the phone. It looked a little something like this:



I kid you not, that is the man himself talking to me on the phone. I think I went into shock when he called because I don't remember what he said to me. I think I was just screaming the whole time. It looks like I used my last hour for school work to blog...WHOOPS. Until next time, peace be with you.

I Wonder if Anyone is Still Sleeping?

That was the quesion my dad should have been asking himself yesterday when he began his assignment of sawing the top of a car off in the wee hours of the morning- around 8:00. Luckily, I was awake at 7:30 so the assault on my ears was not as profound. When I first heard it I thought, "What the? It sounds like someone is sawing a car apart right outside my window!" I drew my curtains back and what do you know, I was right. My dad was grinding a saw into heavy metal not 20 feet from me on a Tuesday morning. I have a few questions and thoughts stemming from this incident:

1. Why are you taking the top off of that car?

2. Are you making a crude convertible for me as a gift for my 23rd birthday?
I imagine it would look something like this, fingers crossed:

A girl can dream, right?

3.Did you ever think that people might be sleeping?

4.Why aren't you at work?
Don't worry guys, this was a scheduled day off

Now I'll give the mic to you because I am sure you have a question for me:

1. Is it the norm in the Gaz household to be forced out of your slumber by some kind of loud noise i.e., a weedwacker, a car saw, some kind of drill, or boxes being packed with tape.

-Yes this is the norm, I don't set my alarm on the weekends because, never fail, one of the previously mentioned noises will do the waking for me.

My mom came in my room soon after the offensive noise began and said, "I hope no one is trying to sleep." Indeed.

Update: I am in the process of putting my degree to good use and applying to any schools that have a need for speech paraprofessionals because I need monies. I can't keep getting paid in meatballs. Along with my application, I am required to get fingerprinted, so I went to the town hall yesterday to do so only to be told I had to get fingerprinted by the school that interviewing me. K. I ended my morning with a trip to Dunkin Donuts to purchase coffee for my mom and dad and myself. Is it a requirement to have hickies on your neck to work at the South Heights Dunkin Donuts because, I am not lying, every employee I saw had one or more hickies on their neck. One girl even had one on her cheek...what happened there? Class time! I'm going to see Ben Folds on Friday, HOORAY!