Feature Emcee: Mr: Maintenance

Today was the last day of finals week for a large portion of the GSU population and, keeping with tradition, some numbskull decided to have a paper airplane throwing contest in the large foyer of GSU.

That's it everyone. A piece of paper folded up and thrown from the third floor balcony over and over again accompanied by a raucous narrative of the flight provided by the maintenance guy. I guess this activity was a way to "blow off steam" from the trimester, but at that moment? And for three hours? I would not have normally minded, but it was directly disturbing the popular study area on the balcony of the library. At one point, a woman came out and yelled at the emcee. He laughed at her. Apparently paper flight is more important than becoming a professional. Many have complained, nothing will be done about it.

Old Person Joke of the Day

Maybe I am just one of the lucky ones that is witness to old people acting like old people on more than one occasion, and here we go again!

I am at the Flossmoor library right now doing some reading, and this old woman just walked up to a younger man reading to tell him a joke. It went like this:

Woman: "Did you hear about the Bush's library that burned down in the White House?"
Confused Man: "Uh, no."
Woman: "2 coloring books and a box of crayons were destroyed!"

And before the man could even make a sound she goes, "It was a joke!" and walks away! Where is this pass that old people seem to get to do and say whatever the hell they want, and when do I get it!?

Fuck It

This reminds me of a dad flipping out...it makes me nervous!

I got a cat about a month ago and I named her Lady because that's what she is, a lady cat. My dad suggested "Pee-Pee 2" or "Pee-Pee junior" but I chose to stay away from those titles. Grey kitty had a bit of an awkward adjustment period with her which, most of the time, looked like this:

The joke in the Gaz household is that our Grey kitty is re-animated, much like the cat from Pet Semetary. She's so unpleasant and we have tried to be nice to her but she just ends up whining and having terrible breath. Angala says she will breathe in your soul at night if you keep your mouth open. I don't have a picture of Lady because my digital camera is broken but maybe this will do:

AAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! NOOOOO!!!!!! My lady has not been reduced to a pelt streched out by some guy in his office...but it does remind me of a storrrrryyyy! One of the first times Maria came to visit our house, my dad showed her how tall Grey kitty had gotten by stretching her out, much like that businessman/cat skin picture. That is a story that will be told and re-told for the rest of our lives. I tried to google image a picture that was an accurate representation of M'lady, but none of them do her justice. You all know what a tabby cat looks like: blackish, grey, white, brown and tiger-striped. This is slowly turning into a cat post overload. More on the cats to come. Goodnight!

Smarter Than the Average 4 y.o.

No need for a long explanation, I've been on vacation! I haven't posted in a while, my apologies, but I was bitten by the blog bug today at school during my lesson on interpreting standardized tests. I started my second trimester (I'm getting huge!)at Gov State in January, and I can't stop watching the Sopranos. I can't even stay on topic without talking about the show. I'm watching it RIGHT NOW! My mom and I have started somewhat of a book club but with t.v. watching this series, beginning with season 1. Here he is the cause and solution to all of our problems:


...and I am not referring to Patsy Parisi...OH!

One of my requirements as a fledgling speech-language pathologist (SLP) is to learn how to give a standardized measurement tool, also known as, a test. I have to administer, interpret, and report these tests and it just so happened that I was able to use Sean Healy as one of my test subjects.



I went over to Becky's while they were out of town and assessed Sean using the TOSS-P. I tested Sean on his receptive and expressive language abilities using label identification, category stating, and function identifying. I was in the library today while grading his test and I couldn't help but laugh a few times at his responses. When asked to describe what an announcement was for Sean replied, "doing something". This was question 70 out of 103, so I think he was getting a little restless. At one point, Sean flipped the script and began asking me questions and attempting to grade my responses. He showed me a picture and asked "What's silly?" and then I would have to point to something that I thought was silly. Since, the pictures on the test are pretty straight forward, it was hard to choose. After pointing to what I thought was "silly", Sean would mark on a piece of paper my "score". Hopefully I passed.

I finished scoring his test today, and his age equivalency score is 4 years, 9 months! That means he's 9 months smarter than his age! Bravo Sean!

I Need to Learn This

I'm a little behind in the times posting this video, but learning the dance to Beyonce's song "Put a Ring On It" is my goal for Christmas break. The trimester ends on December 15th and Winter block doesn't start until January 5th. That means I have 20 days total to perfect my moves...do you think I can do it? Maybe it will be my Holiday challenge and if I complete it, I will have someone tape it out in the snow like this guy. I will mimic the moves of Beyonce but follow guy in the snow's lead in terms of wardrobe and setting. Happy Day Before Thanksgiving everyone!

Online Exams: The Future is Now!

This is what I wish my eyes were seeing right now but, instead, I just finished an online exam and my shoulders are still up by my ears. Personally, I am not a fan of the online test. Wait, I take that back. I am a fan when the test is easy and all of the answers are right in front of me via book, notes or webpage. I am not a fan when the answers are in front of me and I don't realize it. Then I'm the kid who couldn't get the answers to the online exam right. I've put together a list of pros and cons about the online examination. They are as follows:

PRO
- You get to have your books and notes in front of you
- The anxiety level of test taking is lessened because you are allowed to take the test in the privacy of your own home, perhaps with no clothing on
- The results for the exam are immediate, making you feel like a champion or a complete failure

CON
- The time limit:
The time limit gets it's own subcategory because I think this is the most obnoxious feature of an online test. I only had a half hour to take a test today with 2 essay questions and 10 multiple choice! The time limit should have a few minutes set aside for catching your breath after you decide to finally hit the begin button. I don't know about you, but I think I actually black out and forget where I am in those first few minutes. After regrouping, I realize five minutes have gone by and I have only answered one question while the essay questions are taunting me in the back of my mind.
- Reminding yourself to breathe
- Feeling like you are attempting to dismantle an atom bomb (Re: The time limit)
- The essay questions
I feel like I don't have a brain during this portion because I have to multitask and read what the questions is asking, think about it in my head and then articulate my thoughts cohesively. By this point I have like 3:45 left on the clock and I am scrambling to put sentences together that have something to do with the topic. I can't be expected to do all that higher mental functioning all at once! I'm only human!

In any case, good for you professors who want to ride the technological wave into online exam-dom. I have to go to work now. I brought the Jim Gaffigan dvd along with me and hopefully I will be able to watch it tonight.

My Dad, The King of Late Night Comedy?

My friend Natalie brought this comparison to light after posting on my Facebook wall the fact that she has known me for 8 years and just now come to the realization that my dad looks like Lorne Michaels. Whaddayathink?

In other news, my brother has decided to bogart my post from yesterday and make it his own...is this amateur night? This is typical of him, for it is not the first time he has stolen one of my jokes or thoughts and pawned it off as his own. I guess it has to do with younger sibling syndrome and not being heard because everyone is talking over us. The worst is when we are in a group setting and I say something hilarious under my breath and nobody hears it at first. As soon as there is a lull in the conversation, BAM! He says exactly what I said verbatim and gets the credit for it. 75% of his postings are probably original thoughts of mine.

I am unwinding after a 10 hour day at school with a little Jon and Kate Plus 8. Thanks to mom for making a delicious pot of potato soup accompanied by a loaf of french bread. I've packed in my starches for the week!